ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
