Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I am never drinking with the goths again.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
