Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
