Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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