I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
