Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
