we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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