It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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