thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I smell like Dick and happiness
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
