I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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