hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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