I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
