I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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