How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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