Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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