Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
