do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
