He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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