it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Everything about him screamed your future.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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