singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
