I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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