Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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