So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i out mim tonsoeep
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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