Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
