well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
