the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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