She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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