My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
