Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
