Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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