the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Randomize
