I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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