You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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