in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
