do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
