Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
