I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
