there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize