It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
