I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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