Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
