I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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