If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
