HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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