No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
