What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
