it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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