I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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