Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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