I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
