You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Best friends brother. Beat that.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
