Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
