NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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