You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
