When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
