You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
time to smoke my breakfast
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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