wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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