Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
