I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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