so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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