Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
