my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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